Discover more from Year Of The Opposite - Travis Stoliker's Substack
The Grass Is Greener Where I Water It
A Personal Revelation: Why the Grass Isn't Always Greener on the Other Side
It's an uncomfortable admission, but sometimes, when I see my friends achieving great things—be it a shiny new purchase, an exciting travel experience, a successful business launch, or a prestigious award—I can't help but feel a bit of jealousy. As much as it pains me to admit, sometimes my happiness for them is eclipsed by a sense of resentment.
This jealousy isn't just a negative emotion; it also brings with it feelings of ingratitude and shame. After all, I have much to be grateful for—everything my younger self dreamed of having is now a part of my reality. It's a sobering thought that others may look at my life with the same bit of jealousy with which I view theirs. This realization makes my own envy seem not just silly, but incredibly ironic.
I grapple with this bitterness actively, fully aware of how it can distort my relationships and impede my personal growth. Despite me actively knowing that this is a damaging character flaw that I possess, the seed of envy takes root, prompting me to belittle their accomplishments in my head —"Oh, they had rich parents," "They received a government handout," or "They're sinking themselves into debt." I detest when I have this train of thought. But I must confess it’s there.
This jealousy, I've realized, is a manifestation of the 'grass is always greener on the other side' perspective. A notion that someone else's success, accomplishments, or life is more desirable than my own. The advent of social media only fuels this feeling, as I get glimpses into others' lives, which often appear impeccably curated and overwhelmingly successful.
These snapshots, however, only reveal the surface, the lush green grass viewed from afar. They don't reveal the struggles, the doubts, the hardships that lie beneath. It's easy to forget this reality, to get lost in the comparison game, and lose sight of the fact that what I'm seeing isn't the complete picture.
That's when I decided to shift my perspective from: “The grass is greener on the other side”, to "the grass is always greener where you water it." It's about focusing on nourishing my own life, my relationships, my goals, my passions, rather than constantly comparing myself with others.
Rather than letting myself be swayed by the carefully presented highlight reels on social media, I decided to concentrate on my path, my journey, recognizing that just like everyone else, I too have my struggles hidden beneath my 'green grass.' It's this understanding that has helped me turn my attention inwards, to nurture my own life and to celebrate my own accomplishments, however big or small.
In the words of the Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, “Don’t set your mind on things you don’t possess…but count the blessings you actually possess and think how much you would desire them if they weren’t already yours.” This quote resonates deeply with me, reminding me to cherish what I have and to appreciate the unique path I am on.
Life's abundance is often right here, within my reach, not necessarily out there. By 'watering my own grass', by devoting my time, energy, and effort into my own growth, I can create a more vibrant and fulfilling life.
The shift in perspective doesn't erase my feelings of jealousy, but it equips me to confront them. It helps me remember that I hold the power to cultivate abundance and satisfaction in my life. Rather than yearning for the greener grass on the other side, I've chosen to invest in watering my own.
It's a constant battle, but it’s one worth fighting. My own grass's beauty isn't diminished by the success of others; rather, it can be invigorated by it, turning their accomplishments into a source of inspiration, not envy. As my grass gets greener, the appeal of the other side fades. After all, the most fulfilling sight is of a lawn I've tendered and nurtured myself, a testament to my effort and dedication.
PS: Oh, and just so you know, it’s basically a drought in Michigan so the actual grass in my lawn is brown. I should probably water it. 😂
4th of July Special: 50% Off Annual Subscription.
As a valued subscriber to Year Of The Opposite, you're invited to celebrate this 4th of July with a 50% discount on an annual subscription. If you've been enjoying my newsletter, this is the perfect opportunity to upgrade and dive deeper into my content. Thank you!
To my dear paid subscribers, your encouragement and support on this writing journey is beyond words. You are the backbone of this endeavor and truly mean the world to me. Thank you all!
If upgrading isn't feasible right now, no worries! Your support can also be expressed by sharing this post, providing feedback, or discussing my content with a friend. Every bit helps and is deeply appreciated!